Recent Posts
Monday, November 27, 2006
i am jinx-ed
SORRY... your dar is very useless... can never do anything much for you... can never be with you when you are being scolded... can never find anything to make you better... only always getting you into trouble with your parents... sorry... i'm so useless... can never be the "prevention", always only the "cure"... sometimes i even wonder if i am the cure or just the painkiller... sorry... pls forgive me for being so useless... i love you sayang...
forever loving you...
10:42 pm
Saturday, November 25, 2006
146....
146 days... cant believe that we have been together for only 146 days...
love you sayang... no one can make me feel the way you make me feel...
without you, my life would not be complete...
just want to spent the rest of my life with you...
love you so much...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:24 am
Friday, November 24, 2006
love you sayang
sayang i love you...
wish i could spend the night with you...
but... haiz...
nvm... we still have forever to spend time together...
love you so much sayang...
dun ever want to let you go...
love you forever...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
11:13 pm
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
HURT AND HEARTBROKEN
forever loving you...
10:58 pm
sayang...
sayang... why? why do i need to try so hard to get you to open up to me...
why? why do you have to like that everytime?
you know how much it hurts for me to see you like that and you dun allow me to do anything to help you?
you know how useless i feel?
you know how much i hate myself for this?
please... i'm always here...
and this is what i'm here for... isn't it?
to help thru everything...
i'm with you now...
we are supposed to face everything together...
but...
please....
please...
forever loving you...
10:32 pm
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Love you Sayang...
Sayang, thank you for being with me, advising me and helping me during this very confusing time...
I love you... without you, I would not know what to do....
Love you sayang...
Love you so much...
I LOVE YOU!!!
forever loving you...
10:13 pm
What it means...
RG: taking photographs of the body parts that would have been otherwise not be able to seen by naked eyes...
job descriptions: go to work, start taking x-rays with the aim of clearing off the queue,you do the job alone, job done in a few mins, patients dun rem who the hell are you...
RT: using radiation to treat lesions.
job descriptions: go to work, work as a team, interact with patients, treat them, send them off, patient recover, they remember you...
which one will you choose?
forever loving you...
10:05 pm
Monday, November 20, 2006
changing lanes...
rt and dr... which one should i choose? what do i really want? what am i really looking for?
i dunno... i'm very confused now... desperately need some help...
think i should talk to mj, vj and aj soon... before its too late...
Sayang, thank you for supporting me no matter what decision i make...
love you so much...
forever loving you...
11:06 pm
Sunday, November 19, 2006
sunday
wat a lousy sunday...
went to the chevy showroom for a test drive with the aim of getting the free petrol voucher...
end up dad decided that he liked the car so much that he want a second car...
haiz... really have to pia for my scholarship le, if not i think i'll be forced to quit school soon...
then at home when keeping laundry...
i dropped the bamboo pole on my head...
ended up having headache throughout the rest of the day...
sorry sayang, its not that i dun want to tell you, just that you are out with your mommy... i dun want to get you worried and ended up making your mommy in anyway... sorry...
then sayang told me that she'll be gg guizhou for vac during the Dec holidays...
8 days in total... leaving on 16th, coming back on 24th morning...
sorry sayang... i really wanted to go with you, really... but now, esp now, i really cant... sorry... but i want you to go too... i want you to go to these places... becoz with me right now, its not really possible to bring you there... sorry... i love you... but i promise you, i'll work hard... so that in future, i can bring you there...
i think later when going to fetch my dad, he wants supper... sianz...
i still have sch tmr lor...
haiz...
forever loving you...
9:59 pm
Saturday, November 18, 2006
these 2 days...
joined grp 1C for prac yest... was a bit happy that will be with Sayang for prac... but turned out to be quite boring... didnt talk to Sayang almost the whole time... during discussion time, was sitting alone, called Sayang, but no respond... told Sayang abt it after lesson, but she misundertsood what i had told her... ended up she was very very depressed...
Sayang, I love you... I'm not trying to hold you back or anything, but during the lesson, you really didnt talk to me, didnt respond to me, thats why I was so sad as well... Promise me... Dun ever say that you are not worthy of me... I love you...
Went out with Sayang today, was supposed to go Library on the Sea then mug... in the end, after having CJ chilli cheese burger and chilli cheese fries for lunch, we were too full to study... walked around a bit... ran into Sharon too... lol... then now Sayang's tummy very upset now... think the things we ate today was too acidic... :(
Sorry Sayang, should not have let you eat all those things...
I love you...
forever loving you...
9:21 pm
Thursday, November 16, 2006
sorry
sorry... made you had cramp again...
sorry... i love you...
forever loving you...
11:17 pm
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
heartbroken

My heart is totally shattered...
Promised not to cry anymore, but I just can't do it.
Sorry...
My heart is totally broken...
I can really feel the pain... physically...
seriously, I rather it be me...
forever loving you...
10:59 pm
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
i noe and i understand
sayang, you know, although you dun mind...
but i feel sad whenever i know that there is smthg that you really like and i cant get it for you...
haiz...
its not that this relationship is base on expensive gifts and stuff...
but just bringing that smile and making you happy is...
haiz...
i love you sayang...
if i could i would...
forever loving you...
9:04 pm
haiz
sianz... posted to CGH for my clinical...
the most dreaded place of all... haiz...
forever loving you...
8:54 pm
Monday, November 13, 2006
sick? not sick?
cold, running nose, achy joints, tiredness...
am i sick?
forever loving you...
10:33 pm
lousy day
yet another lousy day for me...
had a bugging headache almost throughout the day...
end up only making sayang worried abt me only...
sorry sayang...
i love you...
love you so much...
forever loving you...
9:33 pm
Sunday, November 12, 2006
tired
very tired now...
finished a truckload of laundry today...
super tired now...
*yawnz*
forever loving you...
10:28 pm
sad... why?
once again...
haiz... why they have to keep doing this to me?
i dun see my friends doing the same thing, why do i have to?
i know i have my responsibilities in this family but is it really fair?
you keep saying that we are a burden for you...
if so, why have us in the first place?
if we didnt exist, you would not be so angry too...
have you ever spared a thought of how we feel?
do actually know what we are looking for?
*sobs*
forever loving you...
9:09 pm
Saturday, November 11, 2006
sorry
dunno how to tell u the truth thru msn...
told you i was preoccupied with smthg...
that smthg was hearing you thru the phone last night...
when you were...
when i was crying...
was very very sad and heartbroken...
was forgetting i was holding my scissors by its blade...
sorry...
i promise i'll be more carefull next time...
i promise this wont happen again...
sayang, i love you...
pls dun cry k?
pls dun feel sorry k?
i'm ok...
its just a small cut...
I LOVE YOU
forever loving you...
10:43 pm
Friday, November 10, 2006
cut

sad and hurt
i love you...
forever loving you...
11:01 pm
uncontrollable

went to see sayang after school today...
totally heartbroken during all the episodes of headaches...
managed to hold back the tears there...
but now...
:'(
I love you sayang...
forever loving you...
7:47 pm
Thursday, November 09, 2006
cant...
i just cant
stop crying for you...
stop worrying about you...
i love you...
forever loving you...
6:49 pm
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
its my fault
sorry sayang... sorry for everything...
sorry for not being able to be by your side to take care of you...
it has to be me who has passed the virus to you...
its always me...
seems like i'm always the one that bring down and hold back everyone...
maybe thats why most pple dun like me being around...
sorry sayang...
sorry...
I love you...
:'(
*sobs*
forever loving you...
7:59 pm
Sunday, November 05, 2006
:'(
:(
sayang has tonsil infection...
and fever of 38.7....
*heartbroken*
how i wish i could be with you now...
i love you...
forever loving you...
8:31 pm
Sianz
Raining again...
very very sian now...
haiz...
sayang is sick and i cant take care of her...
sianz...
*heartbroken*
forever loving you...
5:03 pm
Rain
raining now... sianz...
means more mozzies...
means more pple crowding round my counter...
chit chatting with their friends...
feel so lonely now...
haiz...
missing you a lot now sayang...
i love you
forever loving you...
2:10 pm
Idiot!!
Man: "what sort of svcs you provided?"
Me: "wheelchair, information, lost and found...etc"
Man: " Oh, you dun provided free pruning svcs at my house ah?"
Me:"..........."
forever loving you...
10:38 am
back at work
back at work for one day...
haiz... wondering if i should have taken this offer...
dun seem like i'll have enuff time to study for my e-quiz this tues and wed...
haiz... think have to burn midnight oil le...
sian... means will be getting headaches again...
Sayang, I love you...
I really love you a lot a lot...
I really could not imagine what life will be without you by side...
There's nothing more I will wish for than for you to be happy...
and to spent time with you... 24/7...
Love you so much...
I miss you...
I love you...
forever loving you...
8:32 am
Thursday, November 02, 2006
tears have fell
sayang...
sorry for the prev. post...
pls dun cry le...
i love you...
forever loving you...
9:37 pm
it hurts so much...
do you know how much it hurts? you know?
its not because you are feeling depressed or fustrated or anythg...
it because of this words:
WHY CAN'T U GO TO SLP AND LEAVE ME ALONE????
the words cut so deep...
it hurts so much...
i dun even know what i can do now...
if i can really fall asleep now...
what does it mean?
sayang... you know i love you...
and i'll be there no matter what...
but why are you not telling me anything?
why do you have to keep doing this to me again and again... time after time....
why you keep saying that you are not worthy of me?
i've told you i dun mind your past...
i love you for who you are...
what else is there that u cant tell me?
i dunno...
i only know i wont be able to sleep tonight...
and if u are not going to sch tmr...
i dun think i'm gg too...
there's no point...
i'll spend the whole day worryied and distracted...
NO POINT....
tears are falling as i'm typing this post...
you are refusing to tell me whats wrong...
you are refusing to pick up my call...
you are refusing everything...
i dunno what i can do anymore...
maybe i should just leave you alone...
but i cant...
i really cant do it...
feeling so useless now...
seeing you so depressed now..
and yet there is nothing i can do for you...
it really seemed like i've brought you nothing but misery...
think of how many times that i've made you unhappy..
and of the times that you were unhappy becos of me...
there seems to be more tears than laughter...
i dunno...
if this is a mistake... which i really hope it isnt...
maybe...
but i want you to know that i love you...
and i'll always do...
sayang...
i'm always here for you...
forever loving you...
9:15 pm