Recent Posts
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
tmr...
haven been updating blog for quite a while...
a lot have been going on lately...
feeling very stressed out...
haven been sleeping very well, keep waking up from nightmares...
tmr...
sayang, tmr we'll know...
dun worry too much, whatever it is, we'll face it together...
if it really comes, i dunno...
it is a present, a gift, a miracle that i would really like to embrace...
but yet, now is really not the time...
i'm sorry...
but i promise you, i won't leave you...
for i really do love you...
and i want to spend the rest of my life with you...
pls dun hate me for this...
for i'm already hating myself for this...
there are times the past few days, when i really wanted to hurt myself...
but i cant, cos i know you need me...
and the last thing you need now is another blow...
sorry, but i really feel so useless...
did smthg and you have to be the one to bear most of the consequences...
i'm really such a useless SOB...
i really hate myself...
sayang, i love you...
forever loving you...
10:36 pm
Monday, October 16, 2006
first day of school
today was the first day of school...
haiz... very sianzz...
stupid photocopy shop aunty...
got a honky teacher for anp...
cant go hand in my timesheet... cos need to attend briefing...
haiz...
luckily got sayang with me all time...
love you sayang...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:47 pm
Sunday, October 15, 2006
haiz...
feeling super contradicting now...
wants school to start, but dun want school to start...
wants concert to be cancelled, but dun want concert to be cancelled...
wants to keep the lost and found camcorder, but dun want to keep the camcorder...
haiz...
miss sayang so much...
really misses sayang a lot a lot...
haiz...
if only we can be together 24/7...
then i can take care of you all the time...
i love you sayang...
i love you so much...
i'll love you always...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
2:59 pm
Saturday, October 14, 2006
last day
last day of work tmr... sch starting on mon le...
looking fwd to it and not looking fwd to it...
looking fwd to it cos sch starts means can see sayang everyday...
not looking fwd to it cos timetable sucks... haiz...
and i dun really think i want sch to start too...
cos i dun think i've rested enuff yet... haiz...
very contradicting... but no choice... haiz...
miss you so much sayang...
really craving for your touch now...
my heart is calling out for you again...
Sayang, I love you...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
7:59 pm
you are the reason
sayang, i think you might have gotten me wrong yesterday...
sorry...
what i really wanted say is...
i'm tired... but not because of you...
you are the one the has been giving me the energy to push through everything...
without you by my side, i would have given up long ago...
without you, my life would never be the same again...
i'm so sorry that i've affected you this way... sorry...
i just wanted you to know how much i love you... how much you mean to me...
you are my only respite from all the pressure that has been coming all around...
and i want to be yours too... forever...
i really love you a lot a lot...
no one else can ever take your place in my heart...
everytime, you are not by my side, i can feel my heart calling out for yours...
you are to me, as is what the Sun is to the Solar System...
i just cant do without you...
thank you for all that you've done for me...
Sayang, I love you...
I really do...
I'll always do...
I Love You...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:39 am
Friday, October 13, 2006
headache...
head throbbing again... dunno why...
feel like slamming my head onto the tabletop...
so it wont be so painful...
dunno why i keep getting these headaches nowadays...
was really surprised to receive an email from her out of the blue...
wat did she wants?
i dunno and i dun care...
there's only one person that i care about now...
Sayang... that person is you...
I love you...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
4:00 pm
before and after
before you entered my life...
my life was carefree...
i could do whatever whenever i feel like it...
but there was no purpose...
i feel so lonely...
after i found you...
my life is built all around you...
i feel fullfilled...
although sometimes its a bit tiring...
its worth it... and i dun mind it...
because i love you...
in you, i've found something...
something i've never felt...
something called bliss...
Sayang, I am so happy that I've found you...
I am so happy that you have accepted me into your life...
I'm so deeply in love with you....
I Love You
*muacks*
forever loving you...
9:32 am
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
A stupid question a day, makes me wanna run away (#7)
She (standing in front of nog),"can you tell me how to get to nog?"
Me," its the one right in front of you"
She,"where? i cannot see..."
forever loving you...
2:13 pm
A stupid question a day, makes me wanna run away (#6)
She, holding the sbg map," can i have a map?"
me,"its the one you are holding mdm.."
she,"issit, i dunno how to read map..."
forever loving you...
12:58 pm
i love you
sayang... i love you...
yesterday gift from you was really a suprise...
love you so much...
sorry i didnt prepare anything for you...
i promise i'll make it up to you on thurs...
yesterday was wonderful...
although we didnt do anything much...
but times spent with you are just magical...
i was feeling quite sick in the morning...
but when you are by my side...
i feel like i can run a thousand miles...
really cannot imagine life without you by my side...
i promise you i wont hurt you...
i'll protect you and take care of you...
i love you sayang...
i really do...
i'll always do...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
9:16 am
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
A stupid question a day, makes me wanna run away (#5)
He,"Where is the hawker centre?"
Me,"No hawker centre only food court"
He,"Where is the hawker centre?"
Me(gave up),"at the new tanglin building, 20mins walk from here"
He,"Where am I now?"
Me,"the old VC, 20mins from the new VC"
He,"is the hawker centre here?"
forever loving you...
10:11 am
A stupid question a day, makes me wanna run away (#4)
they came by cab and asked, "need to pay?"
me, "only for nog"
they, "ok we dun go there"
-.-"""
forever loving you...
9:27 am
A stupid question a day, makes me wanna run away (#3)
He came and asked, "What?"
me, "yessir can i help you?"
he walked away
forever loving you...
9:25 am
A stupid question a day, makes me wanna run away (#2)
He showed me a map and asked, "show me where is fu peh peh su"
me, "i dun understand sir, there is no such place."
he, "fu peh peh su, fu peh peh su, fu peh peh su....."
he walked away
forever loving you...
9:22 am
A stupid question a day, makes me wanna run away
Picked up a call, she asked, "How to get to sbg?"
I asked, "Mdm, where's your location now?"
she, "i'm can see sbg, but i dunno how to get there"
-.-"""
forever loving you...
9:17 am
sian
feeling sick again...
dunno if can take half day...
if i really work for whole day...
i think i'll be on mc tmr le...
haiz...
forever loving you...
8:44 am
SSH
stupid smoke haze...
making everyone fall sick...
worst of all it made my Sayang fall sick...
stupid Ind, next time build a capsule over your country then start burning lah...
kaoz...
*praying for rain*
forever loving you...
8:24 am
Tues, 10/10, 100th day
haha, nice date...
Sayang, 100th day le...
And the date too seems to play along...
Love you so much...
Love you more every single day...
Really cannot be without you...
*muacks*
SAYANG, I LOVE YOU!!!
forever loving you...
8:17 am
Sunday, October 08, 2006
today...98th...
sianz...
firstly, did not have a good rest last night...
cos sayang wasn't feeling right and i was very worried...
then, sayang was not feeling well this morning too...
then during my lunchtime, was too worried to have my lunch...
spent the entire lunchtime calling sayang...
turns out she was only having lunch...
:'(
Sayang, you promised not to do this again...
I really hope that this will the last time...
Love you so much sayang...
Thats why I get so worried...
Love you...
Sayang... 98th day le...
Two more days to a 100th day...
Love you so much...
Just want to be with you all my life...
No one else...
You are the one, the only one...
Sayang, I love you...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:32 pm
Love you so much
Love you sayang...
Thank you...
Thanks for helping me feel better...
Couldn't imagine what life would be without you...
Love you so much...
You know I couldn't sleep well last night...
Cos I know that you are not feeling well...
During the call, I could hear you suffer in pain...
My heart was totally shattered...
And worst of all, I couldn't be there to take care of you...
Haiz...
Love you so much Sayang...
Pls take good care of yourself...
Drink more water...
Love you forever...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:19 am
Saturday, October 07, 2006
....
lets see, wat happened these 2 days...
Yest
1) Bullied by sis and friend
2) Dinner at 10:30pm...
3) Vomitted a few times
4) Fell down on my left knee
5) Headaches
6) Giddiness
7) Shortness of breath
8) Very very pissed off
Today
9) Whacked my left knee a few times again
10) Headache
11) Giddy
12) Very very bad mood swing (still am now)
13) Scolded a few times for no reason
14) a lot of stupid qns
Think i missed out a lot, cant rem le...
F!!
forever loving you...
5:19 pm
....
you are now watching Goong...
and i'm still not feeling ok (both emotionally and physically)...
you told me you've read my emails le...
but you dun seem to understand how i'm feeling now...
nvm... its ok...
i've told you not to worry abt me anyway...
enjoy the show sayang...
i know you've been looking forward to watching it...
love you...
forever loving you...
5:00 pm
sianz
haiz... dunno why i resent this job this time so much...
used to like this job...
haiz...
whacked my left knee agst the counter a few times today...
left knee still aching... sianz...
misses my sayang so much...
forever loving you...
4:34 pm
Friday, October 06, 2006
Lousy Hazey Mid-Autumn
haiz... totally lousy mid-autumn...
first part - previous entry...
then vomitted a few times before leaving to fetch dad from work at abt 1015pm to have dinner...
oh yah, tripped over my shoe, fell on my left knee and slammed myself into the main door...
left knee hurts most...
stupid Sumatra keep burning... haiz... super hazey, think PSI shld have exceeded 100 le ba...
giving me very very bad headache...
Misses Sayang so much...
she got dragged out too..
and she's still not back...
haiz...
can't chat with her also...
Love her so much...
Sayang, I love you...
Sorry for making you worried again...
Feeling so useless now...
Used to be able to tahan hunger for whole day...
But now... cant even manage 2hrs...
haiz...
Love you Sayang...
Love you so much!!
forever loving you...
11:39 pm
WTH!!!!!!!
time now 20:09...
i have yet to have my dinner yet... WTH!!!!
my mom wants me to wait for my dad to reach home before going out for dinner...
My dad only gonna reach home at abt 9:30... F!!!
I know they dun need to work tmr... but me? F!!!
wants me to return her the $60...
what abt my $1500? F!!!
tts why i need to work...
so that i can at least have some money to lend her and for my own use...
vac vac vac... think dun need money one meh?
which reminds me what abt the $230 for the bus tixs the last time?
now sch starting and i dun even know when they'll deduct fees from me...
hate to ask for money from them...
mom not home dad not home...
i might as well starve to death...
crap... F!!!
Feeling really very depressed and sad now...
F!!!
forever loving you...
8:15 pm
untitled - ing
sitting alone at my counter...
thinking about what happened last night...
feeling sad and bad that i could not be with you...
wishing i could be with you now...
praying she would stop doing this to you...
trying hard to hold back my tears...
failing in my attempt to that...
wiping away the tears that falls for you...
loving you more as time passes...
missing you more dearly as time passes...
wondering when can we be together 24/7...
hoping the day would come faster...
kissing you every other minute...
saying "I love you" all the time...
lasting forever and ever and ever...
forever loving you...
9:18 am
dun worry...
Sayang, there is no need to worry...
I'll not back down no matter what our parents says...
What they do only made us need each other more...
I love you Sayang...
I'll never let you go...
forever loving you...
9:01 am
untitled [Good Morning Sunshine]
feeling sad and something else (dunno how to describe)...
You were scolded yesterday by her and him again... but you didn't tell me why...
I only know that you were deeply hurt...
Sayang, I just want to let you know that I'll always be there for you...
No matter what they keep telling us...
We have already been through so much in our 3 months together...
As long as we love each other, there is nothing else that we cannot overcome...
I love you Sayang...
Just like the song you sent me...
I promise to be your sunshine...
To keep you warm and safe...
I really do love you...
I'll always do...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:37 am
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Dun be scared...
Sayang, dun be scared...
I love you...
I'll be there for you forever...
forever loving you...
11:02 pm
WHY!?!?!?
Why? Why have you got to keep doing this to my Sayang?
She deserves much much better than these...
Please stop...
You have been unfair to her enough already...
Pls stop...
If you still want to torture her, torture me instead...
Pls... Stop doing this to my Sayang...
I really don't want her to suffer anymore...
Its hurts so much to see her so sad...
Pls... I'm down on my knees and begging you...
Pls stop...
*sobs*
forever loving you...
10:50 pm
High Quality Product
EnV
Since 03/07/06
[ Inspired By E and Designed By V ]
A highest quality product produced with the deepest form of love.
It strives to serve, to protect, to comfort and to support.
It guaranteed no expiry and promises to last a lifetime...
In sickness, poverty and hardship...
Till death will it parts.
forever loving you...
4:48 pm
Oct 5 - 95th day
Sayang, our 95th day together le...
And I feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again each and everyady...
And each time I'm falling deeper in love with you...
Yesterday was wonderful...
Spending the whole day with you... *muacks*
Did you realise that it was the first time we watched a movie together?
Throughout the show, I was thinking about our future and thinking how ours will look like...
Love you so much Sayang...
Back at work today...
Sianz... Dunno when will be the next time we'll meet again...
Hopefully asap... Really missing you a lot already...
Take good care of yourself when I'm not around k?
Love you so much...
Today's Mid-Autumn...
Too bad I can't spend the day with you...
Hope your mommy will like the mooncakes I gave you...
Love you so much Sayang...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:52 am
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
03 Oct
Sayang, 3 months le...
And I promise, there will be more to come...
We've been through a lot during the last month and it has made our love even stronger.
There is no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with...
I do not know how to express myself in words but all I can say is...
Sayang, I love you...
And as each day passes, I love you even more...
Let me prove it to you with my actions...
Love you so much Sayang...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:20 am
Monday, October 02, 2006
tick tock
tick....................................................................................................................................
tock...................................................................................................................................
tick....................................................................................................................................
tock...................................................................................................................................
times goes by so slowly...
it seems like forever to reach the day i'll see you again...
if only i could speed up the watiting time...
haiz...
was sitting at my counter alone and bored...
spent the entire moment counting the leaves of the tree...
thinking about the amount of blessings i must have received to be with you...
feeling really blessed to be with you...
i love you so much sayang... too bad we cant meet tmr...
but at least we'll be spending the whole of wednesday together...
sayang... a few more hours to our 3rd month anniversary...
loving you even more so everyday...
really wants to spend the rest of my life with you...
there'll be no one else...
you are the one...
the one for me...
Love you so much sayang...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
8:43 pm
sorry
sayang... i dun think thru the phone you can hear me clearly...
the reason why i keep feeling this way... i'm sorry...
my mother's nonsense and then the way you behave sometimes is very mind-boggling... (like the time when we were supposed to meet at glen-e after work..) its like you dun really care much abt my feelings... but i know that you do care alot abt me and tt you are just not used to having someone who has really placed u in his top priority... maybe my expectations of you were too high... and the way my mother is behaving is really not making things any easier... tts why i keep needing affirmation from you... just to reassure myself and to prevent my mind from wandering too much... i'm sure by now, you should know how my mind works... its crazy... tts why i need u to help me control it too... i am really scared of losing you because i love you too much...
you know sometimes, a simple sms like "morning dar"would make my day? all these little things/smses means a lot to me... you know, i saved all these smses from u? its how much you means to me...
sayang, i do believe you... sometimes, the way i behave is a bit too much... i know... but pls dun be hurt... i know i do appear to be a happy-go-lucky guy,but deep down inside, i'm not... i can saddened by almost anythg, even thgs on the news... tts why i keep having all these mood swings... i'm just not really good at expressing myself to anyone... which is why when i'm alone, i tend to think a lot and start crying... sayang, there is no reason for you to be hurt by me... when i tell you how i'm feeling, it just means that i need your help... i need you to help me get back to my feet...
sayang, i really feel that i need to let you know how i feel... because i do not want to keep anythg from you... if not one day, i believe, i would explode...and i really do not want to start a quarrel with you... i dowan to hurt you... i just want you tounderstand how i feel and so that we can get everything out of the way...
sayang, i really hope you can understand how i feels... i love you...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
1:53 pm
worried, sad and scared
sayang, you really ok not?
how come you are not responding de?
you know how worried I am?
i really dunno if you are ok or not...
you know how sad I am?
you know how scared I am?
everytime you do this to me (not responding), i am very scared...
it feels like i'm not really impt to you...
my mother words keep replaying in my mind...
I'm really scared sayang...
esp now...
sayang, i'm really feeling like crap now...
toothache, headache, flu, slight fever and nausea...
(and i think mood swing now)
really very very depressed now...
trying very hard to control my tears...
*sobs*
forever loving you...
11:49 am
Sunday, October 01, 2006
back at work
back at work for the first day... sianz...
cant msn sayang for the whole day...
feeling very guilty about the fact that she made her mommy angry bcos of me...
sorry sayang... i love you...
cant wait to get home but today got concert :'(
haiz... dunno wat time i'll reach home...
sayang, i miss you...
time is passing by so slowly without you...
cant wait to see you on wednesday...
love you so much...
*muacks*
forever loving you...
12:57 pm